Friday, December 31, 2010

My Year in Review or I guess you could say the rearveiw :)

So I'm sure like everyone else my 2010 had it's up's and down's. I don't remember anything to spectacular or eventful in Jan 2010. But February came in with a bang, Colton had his appendix removed on February 1st and 2 weeks later got pneumonia as a complication from the surgery, that was one of the hardest things to go through as a mother, to watch my baby in pain and want to take it away or trade him places, I was a wreck for weeks, this is also when I started my blog. In March Colton celebrated his 6th birthday, he got a quad from us and had a bowling party with family. April brought on sickness for me, just the regular run of the mill CF stuff, I was admitted for 2 weeks and had home IV's for another week. All the while working on Great Strides CF walk stuff. I coordinate the Great Strides walk in my home town every year with help from the CF foundation. We had our walk on May 16th, 2010 and it was a huge success raising near $10,000.00 (this is a huge amount for my small rural town). After the unwind of the busy work with the walk and Colton finishing the school year Brad took a vacation and we headed to one of my favorite places the day after school was out June 7th! We loaded the motor home and headed to Silver Lake Sand Dunes! I grew up riding dune buggy's on these dune's and it has always been my favorite spot in Michigan. It was Colton's first time going and as I suspected he loved it and demanded to go back! So as per his request as one of the things he wanted to do on his summer break that he had never done, stay in a hotel. So we asked our closest friends to go and we packed up and headed back to Silver Lake in July. Here's a post about that visit . As our July ended and August began we kinda just chilled at home and enjoyed the beautiful summer we had, swimming almost everyday! I also take Colton to Michigan's Adventure every year, it's an amusement park about 2 hours from our home. We planned a last minute trip with my cousin and her friend, we had a great day. Unfortunately my Dog got sick the day before, we still went but she spent the majority of the day in the Vets office being tested. You can read about her in these 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 posts. September 1st came to be one of the saddest day's of my life. Colton also started the 1st grade Sept. 7th, which he enjoys much better then Kindergarten. But over all September was a bad month we lost a good car, our Dog, and our other dog Diesel tore his knee. October came I celebrated my 28th birthday on Halloween! I love my birthday's, I mean I know most people do but I always feel so blessed to have grew another year older, always saying I made it another one! With November came Diesel's knee surgery and Hunting, you can read all the things I was Thankful for here. I was especially thankful on the 24th when I went to my first concert ever! I got to see Shinedown one of my favorite bands ever! the majority of October and November I felt crappy, knowing I needed to get in for a "clean out". So on December 7th I went into the hospital for 10 days and did home IV's for 11 more days at home. Came home just in time for all the family Christmas' and wonderful festivities. We had a great Christmas actually having our last one last night, with my brothers wonderful girlfriend! Also happened in 2010, we had a wedding in May, our really close friends got married in June, and 2 friends from High school got married in July! My brother got divorced which was a blessing in disguise! My sister and Brother in law moved back to Michigan from Mississippi, one of our good friends had a baby, and our best friends are expecting their first in April. All in all it was a great year with hills and valleys. "There's a touch of grey For every shade of blue That's the way that I see Life If there was nothing wrong Then there'd be nothing right" Shinedown, The Sound of Madness, What a Shame. So I am ringing in the new year with Brad and Colton we went to the movies earlier had spaghetti for supper, now they are watching another movie and I'm about to join them. Happy New Year everyone! I hope 2011 brings great things for all.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Thankful Thursday

So I decided to jump on the blog band wagon from over at Run Sick Boy Run and post some things I'm thankful for this week.

First off I'm Thankful that I'm going home tomorrow after a 10 day hospital stay! I am thankful for the advances in medicine that I can continue the rest of my care in the comfort of my home with my husband and son by my side. Brings me to two more things Im thankful for Brad! He is an amazing husband, supportive, giving, and caring among a lot of other great things. I truly found an angel in him he really takes great care of me and encourages me to take great care of myself. And then there's Colton I am beyond Thankful for him! He gives me so much love and care always willing to help Mom whether it be making me laugh or getting nebs for me, he also knows what aerosal meds I take and will get them for me sometimes. He is another angel from God for me. He gives me the drive to fight.I am Thankful for a long time friend that visited me today, that put a smile on my face and my heart. I'm also thankful for the comforts of home, like my favorite pizza place that I intend on having for supper tomorrow. My dogs that I miss very much. And not to be to deep but I am truly thankful for being able to live my life with a purpose.

I am happy to slow down and be thankful in my everyday life, because you just never know when those things your thankful for will be gone.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Update on Hospital stay

Figured I would do an update as promised. So the plan was to discuss doing desensitization with the doctors, well I seen an on call doctor all weekend that I wasn't comfortable with, and maybe that's because he comes in at 6AM!!! If you know me, you know that I am not a morning person at all! I never have been, so I don't really wake up if doctor's come in that early. Doctors that see me on a regular basis know this and they will come by a little later when they know I will be up, unless they absolutely can't then I understand they see me earlier. So anyways, I decided to wait until today to discuss it. But in the mean time I was still on Tobramycin and Zosyn and they added colitine aerosol. Well because of it being "intermediate" to my bugs they decided running it 24 hours instead of a one hour bag every 6 hours would be more effective. I have no problem with this but here was the problem, when they put my PICC in they only put a single lumen, well Tobramycin and Zosyn are not compatible, so this meant I needed a double ended hookup or lumen. Basically so they could run Tobra every 12 hours without having to stop the Zosyn, so I can get 2 meds at once. Well every other time I have had a PICC I have gotten a double lumen, not this time! Never needed a double before, now that I do I don't have one. So Saturday morning they took me back down to have it swapped out with a double, luckily this is quite simple, it took the doctor like 5 minutes and with a little lidocaine I didn't feel a thing. But here's the kicker I was down there for 2 hours for a five minute thing, that was irritating. So that was my drama for the weekend! LOL But after that it was a great weekend, Mom and Dad brought Colton down to visit and brought me TONS of candy and goodies! And a huge canister full of candy for my wonderful nurses! Was really great to see Colton, and he told the nurse the sweetest thing, she asked what was on top of his Christmas list and he said for me to feel better and come home <3 My heart melted! I love that boy! So for whatever reason, maybe all the excitement Saturday, I was exhausted Sunday and napped a lot. So finally to today, bless the doctor he didn't come in until about 5pm! I discussed my thought process on the desensitization and wanted to get the best treatment out of my stay and fear of losing lung function. He said he would discuss it with the other CF doctors and see what they say, but he thinks I will get the results I'm looking for from the treatment I'm on. So I guess I'll find out tomorrow what they think all together. My plan is to get out Friday, with home IVs for another week or so. I guess that's all for now :) As if that's not enough! LOL

Friday, December 10, 2010

Hospital Stay....again :(

Well I'm back at good old "Club Med" aka Spectrum Medical Center in Grand Rapids MI. It's kinda just the usual stuff, but there's been a few complications. Let me start from the beginning. I had clinic back in September, my lung function was decreased slightly but not enough to be hospitalized. I had been having a lot of lung pain so the doctor put me on 600mg Ibuprofen every 8 hours. That really took care of the pain, but I started developing fevers in the evenings. I called the docs office and they put me on a 2 week round of Cipro. I finished that, felt better, and fevers subsided....for a short time. The fevers came back as well as fatigue, loss of appetite, and shortness of breath. Called the doctors again and they said they thought I was having mild to moderate symptoms and ordered a different oral anti-biotic for 2 weeks, Levaquin. I finished that round and felt somewhat better again and fevers went away again. But once again they came back a couple weeks later. By this time I was sick of of feeling sick! I called and told the nurse that I really needed to be admitted that my symptoms had came back again, she said she would talk to the doctor and call me back, of course the doctor said direct admit. So that was Tuesday, after 4 days I am feeling slightly better but some small complications have came up. They started me on my usual regimen of IV anti-biotics Tobramycin and Zosyn. Now 4 days have later my cultures came back and my strains of pseudomonas are "intermediate" to the meds they have me on. This means they are not the most effective to treat my bugs. The drug that is most effective I am allergic to. So today the doctor want to tried to give this drug to me with benedryl to try and stop the reaction, which is full body hives. Well as I suspected it didn't work, we stopped it and the doctor decided to go back to the original plan, to treat with the other 2 drugs even though they are not the best option. Here's my dilemma, I want to use the best drug I can to kick this bug! And there is a process called desensitization, where they give me small amounts of the drug slowly building the amount to full strength so my body doesn't react to the drug. I had it done before a couple years ago with a different drug and it worked. I am going to talk to the doctor tomorrow about this option. I just feel like I am already here and although yes I am starting feel better with the normal regime, I feel like if I don't get the best drug I will be back sooner then normal and risk losing more lung function that I can not afford to lose. So we will see what tomorrow brings and hopefully I can do whats best for my lungs.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

30 Days of Thankfulness!

This month I stole a post from a friend on facebook , she was doing something she was thankful for everyday. I decided to do the same and I have compiled them in this blog for everyone's reading pleasure.

Day 1 of 30 Days of Thanks- I am thankful to have my Grandma Mable still in my life, at 71 she is amazing and I would be lost without her help, encouragement, listening ear, wise advise, and crazy moments that make me laugh ♥

Day 2 of 30 Days of Thanks- Today I am thankful to be a free American citizen, with the right to vote and make my voice heard! Although I feel a may not make much difference because everything has just gone so bad, I am still thankful for that right.

Day 3 of 30 days of Thanks- I'm thankful today for the medical advances that have helped me live beyond the years that was prognosed for me a a child, the gift of these years I am eternally grateful for.

Day 4 of 30 days of Thanks- Today I am Thankful for my handsome, amazing, extraordinary Son Colton! Being told I would never have kids, to be given the amazing gift of being a mother is by far the best thing in my life ♥

Day 5 of 30 Days of Thanks- Today I am thankful for my MOM!! I love her more then anything and could not survive without all her amazing help, she's more then my mom she's my best friend ♥

Day 6 of 30 days of Thanks- Today I am thankful for all my friends! New, Old, Cyber, Close, Distant, all of these friends I appreciate and care for deeply ♥

Day 7 of 30 Days of Thanks- Today I am thankful for my In laws, they are amazing people! Loving, supportive, caring, giving, and all other amazing things ♥

8th Day of Thanks- 7 years ago today I married the most incredible man in this world!! He is an amazing husband and father, he irritates the hell out of me too, but I love him more every year!

Day 9 of 30 Days of Thanks- Today I am thankful for my pets, they are like children to me and I love each and everyone of them ♥ It has been a rough year for us with the animals we lost Dog on Sept 1st, Colton's goldfish died the next week, Diesel tore his ACL a couple weeks later,and our cat that stays outside has been missing for almost 2 weeks. But we will get through it all and I will never give up on them.

Day 10 of 30 Days of Thanks- I am thankful for baby's today! I have the pleasure of watching 7 month old Blake today and it reminds me how special little life's are ♥ and I can't wait for Chasta to have her baby in in April!

Day 11 of 30 Days of Thanks- I am Thankful for all the veteran's past, present and future. For without your sacrifice I would probably not have so many things to be thankful for ♥ Shout out to all on my friends list who have served or serving and are married to someone who has served or serving! Not just the soldiers make the sacrifice the family's give a lot too.

Day 12 of 30 Days of Thanks- I am thankful today for my big brother! He's one of my best friends and is always there for me, I can tell him anything and he always gives me great advice, or a good wake up call if I need it. And like all big brothers he has also torchered me the majority of my life. Here's to you Big Guy ♥

Day 13 of Thanks- Today I am thankful for a roof over my head, clothes on my back and food in my fridge. Because I know not everyone has these things and I am thankful I do.

Day 14 of Thanks- I am thankful for sleep! To say I like to sleep is an understatement! And sleeping in this morning felt amazing!

Day 15 of 30 days of Thanks- Today I am thankful that I had Dog in my life for almost 8 years, she was with me in some hard times and the 2 best times, marrying Brad and having Colton. Today would have been her 8th b-day :( I know I already posted a thanks for my pets, but Dog was special and I will never find another like her.

Day 16 of 30 Days of Thanks- Today I am thankful Brad has a good paying job that has provided for our family and allowed me to be a stay at home mom for the past 6 years.

Day 17 of 30 Days of Thanks- Today I am thankful for good Vets and caring people that fixed Diesel today and are taking care of him until tomorrow.

Day 18 of Thanks- I am thankful for facebook, I get to stay in better touch with so many family and friends, plus I get useless information all the time! LOL and I get to post useless info too :)

Day 19 of Thanks- I am thankful for ALL my family! Near, far, close, distant, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandma's, grandpa's, mom, dad, Brandon and Sarah EVERYONE who is related to me ♥

Day 20 of 30 Thanks- Today I am thankful for my brothers girlfriend Sarah. She puts up with my brother and makes him happy, and that makes me happy and thankful. And for reasons unknown to me he apparently makes her happy too! LOL

Day 21 of Thanks- I am Thankful for my DAD, he is my biggest fan next to Mom and he expects the best from me which makes me expect that of myself. I have to attribute most my good health to him, he never let me skip my treatments and before I had my vest he was almost always the one pounding on me. I hated him for me so hard on my health when I was young, but I love him for it now. ♥ you DAD

Day 22 of 30 days of Thanks- Today I am thankful for the life God has given me. I am thankful for every part of it, the good and the bad, because without feeling and enduring the bad I would not be able to enjoy the good. And I have said this before and it may sound crazy but it includes everything I have dealt with having CF, it's made me who I am, and I happen to like that person :)

Day 23- Today I am thankful for the great food my family got to eat at Brad's parents for Thanksgiving, it was all very yummy! Thank you Janet and Shannon for doing such a great job ♥

Day 24- I'm Thankful I got to go to an awesome SHINEDOWN concert tonight!! It was so great, and as strange as it sounds it was the first time I have been to a concert!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Day 25 of Thanks today I am thankful for my mom's amazing cooking! And time with family ♥

Day 26 of 30 days of thanks- I am thankful I did not go out for black friday, my bed was a much better place to be. I am also thankful I do not have the stomach flu like Brad! He has been up since like 4am either on the toilet or over it :(

Day 27 of 30 Days of Thanks- I am Thankful Brad is feeling better, and that my Mom was able to keep Colton the past 3 1/2 days.

Day 28 of thanks- I am so thankful that Brad did not have to worse of the 2 diagnosis that were possible! And for those that were praying for us ♥ And my mom for once again being able to take Colton tonight :)

Day 29 of Thanks- I am thankful for God and all the prayers he answers for me ♥ And for the ones he doesn't, because I may not see it but he knows what's best :)

Day 30 of 30- Today I am Thankful for Abby, who was the one who inspired my 30 Day's of Thanks! Making speak the things I am thankful for daily has really made me realize how great I have it. And like I have always said there is always someone worse off then you, so be Thankful for what you have daily ♥

So here's to a great November of Thankfulness and going into a great holiday season!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Resent results from clinic

So I went to my 3 month clinic appointment last Thursday. Nothing real exciting about it, I was hoping my PFT's would have increased into the 50% area but no such luck. I was not surprises though after the stressful month I had and losing Dog the week before had a big impact on me. Stress always does for me it really puts me down, I'm not sure why, I mean I know it's bad for everyone but it just reeks havoc on my body. I have been staying in the same range for the last 6 months between 45-47% which is good that I'm not losing any, but I have been striving for almost 2 years to get back in the 50% area. About 2 years ago I got an infection that I couldn't get rid of and I was allergic to the meds that would have been best to treat it. Well after being sick and in the hospital 3 times in one year (the most ever for me), they finally did a desensitization to the med so my body would take it and got rid of the bug. I lost about 15% lung function in that time and have been unable to re-gain it. It is very frustrating to me but I will keep trying. I have also been having a lot of lung pain lately so the doctor started me on 600mg Ibuprofen 3 times a day, he also thinks it will help the inflammation in my lungs. So I will go back in about 3 months and still hoping for improvement.

Colton is back in school now, started 1st grade last week and seems to being liking it much better then last year. We are all still dealing with the loss of Dog and have sad moments, but are doing much better. I have been on a cleaning spree the last few days. I have cleaned out and organized our computer/hunting room, the living room closet, the laundry room, and our bedroom! I am pretty impressed with how good they look. The dust is not helping my allergies, but with nasel wash and spray they seem fine.

Well I guess that's all for now.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Dog the final chapter

Rest in peace Dog 11/14/02- 9/1/10

I had made up my mind, I was going to go get Dog Wednesday morning bring her home, have a couple days with her and make an appointment to have her put down. That all changed Wednesday morning when I got a call from the vet at MSU, Dog had gotten really bad early that morning had a few seizures and was unresponsive basically in a coma. She was suffering and I had to give the vet permission to put her down then. It was devastating to me I wanted to be with her in that moment as she had been with me for some off my hard times, but I couldn't let her suffer just so I could get there that would not be fair. I got around and Mom rode down with me to pick her body up. It was the longest ride to and from Lansing ever, I just wanted to get her home and say goodbye. When I got home Brad and I had to tell Colton. This was very hard, Colton has never known life without her, she has been in his life from day 1. He cried and so did I, although he took it better then I thought he would and in fact told me that he did not think she was going to make it, and she wasn't going to come home, kids have intuition I think that us adults lose. So we wrote her letter's he drew her a picture, gave her on of his stuffed animals that she loved and would go steal from his room when he wasn't home, he also gave her a chap-stick and a Kleenex he had blew his nose on because she loved to eat those things. She was in a big box so we took the lid and wrote messages all over that put her favorite blanket that she carried everywhere and chewed on constantly and toys in with her. Brad and I took an ink print of her paw and plan on getting tattoo's of it soon. My in laws came down and my Mom and Grandma Mable everyone loved her. Brad and his Dad put her in the hole and Grandma said a prayer, we all put some dirt in, and then Brad finished filling it in. I loved her so much! I miss her, my bedroom does not feel the same without her, there is a piece of my heart gone with her. She was a great Dog and friend, she was family.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Dog part 4

She loves laying in the sun

Dog, Diesel, and Colton
Dog and Casper
You can really see her age in this one

So I took Dog to MSU yesterday. They did the initial exam and full history. Then they did more blood work and an ultrasound, at this point I had planned on treating her medically with a drug and diet. I left her there a couple hours for them to do their tests and they called me back when all was done and results were back. When I went back and we went over everything it came down to 2 things, the meds would be about $200.00 a day, we could do surgery, or take her home try to make her comfortable and eventually have to put her down within weeks. I opted for surgery so they did a chest x-ray to check and make sure her heart was good for surgery and that looked good. I came home last night very sad I had to leave my baby and she whined when I said goodbye breaking my heart. The plan was that she would have a CAT scan today and they would call me with the results. I was lucky enough to get an update at 9:30pm from a family friend who works nights at the clinic said she was doing good and he would give her extra love while he was there. They called this morning letting me know she had 2 seizures early this morning but had recovered from them and was going into her CT scan. I got another call at about 3:30 with the results from her scan. She has 2 tumors on her pancreas, 1 on her spleen, and her lymph-nodes are swollen. The plan was to talk to the surgeon after she reviewed her case and she is scheduled to go into surgery tomorrow at around noon. I talk to the surgeon at about 5:00. She gave me a run down of insulinoma's and 50% of dog's that show with symptoms it has traveled to their liver, with Dog's very high amounts of insulin she believes that even though it has not shown on the ultrasound or CT scan it is most likely it has spread in Dog as well. Also because of the high amount of insulin she is not sure after surgery that her blood levels will come back up. And she estimates that with Dog's case with surgery she will have about 7 months after surgery and she may not be back to herself. There's no way to tell what will happen until going into surgery, but at this point I am thinking it's time to let her go. I think putting her through a grueling surgery and long hospital stay for "maybe" 7 months of "maybe" good health is not humane. I am very conflicted and have not made my final decision yet. I have been crying pretty much since I got off the phone with the surgeon. I have to make this decision on my own, Brad will support whatever I decide to do but will not tell me what I should do.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Dog part 3

My birthday party Halloween 2007

Dog and Diesel This is where they spend most their time
"Honey you feel awful furry this morning"
Winter Fun
"You talking to me?"

So over the past 5 years after we moved to where we are now Dog has come into aging quite well. Other then the thyroid problem, which she is medicated for, she has been healthy. Getting old suited her fine she liked to avoid Colton because he was always in her face bugging him, she never growled or snapped at him, which surprised me because if he was bugging me like that I probably would have. So she has spent the majority of her time sleeping on my bed to stay clear. Now Colton knows that she loves her belly scratched and gives her the loving she likes. But she has gotten gray in the face and moves slower then she use to. But by gosh if she see's a cat she still thinks she's a puppy and will chase them. The only bad memory I have of Dog is earlier this summer we found 3 kittens who's mother had abandoned. We were going to nurse them back to health and find homes for them. Well Dog got into the pen where I was keeping them and killed them, she just mouthed and shook them until they were dead and then dropped them. I was so mad at her I sent her away to my Mom's for 4 days. I knew it was her natural instinct and everything but I was so mad because Colton had seen it and he was very upset. I forgave her and let her come home. We also added another Dog to our family about a year and a half ago, he's a English Mastiff and his name is Diesel. Dog does not like him at all! But he has learned to leave her alone and steer clear when she comes around. We also have a cat that is outside, this is the only cat that stood up to the dog's when it came around and they tried chasing it, he would not budge and batted them in the face giving them some scratches, he was a stray that stuck around so we name him Stray. And a goldfish named Nickname. So back to Dog. We had noticed a couple times that she didn't seem herself, she would come out of the bedroom more then usual, wander around, she just wasn't herself. We had watched her mom die from seizures and after she would have seizures she would act the same way, I told Brad that I thought Dog was having them and we weren't seeing them because she was either in the bedroom or we were gone. So I made her an appointment at the Vet for a Tuesday, we went in she was not having symptoms and seemed fine, we made an appointment for the following Thursday to do blood work to re-test her thyroid to see if it was off balance. The Sunday before her appointment I woke up to the bed shaking (she sleeps right next to the bed on my side) looked over and she was having a seizure. I got down with her and tried to keep her calm until she came out of it. Called the emergency Vet, they said as long as her temperature was good there was nothing we could do until Monday morning. I call Monday morning and get her an appointment for 3 that day. Brad calls me (I was on my way to Michigan's Adventure) not a half hour later, she was having another seizure. He had to wait for her to come to and she still couldn't move, and have the neighbor lady's come help him carrier her to the car on a blanket. I would have canceled my trip but there was nothing I could do, she would be at the vets all day having test's. They tested her blood and 2 things came back abnormal, her blood sugar was 24, normal range for dog's is 75-100, and she had high amount of ammonia in her system. The vet thought with her symptoms and test that we should test what was called a live shunt, she had to send it out so we didn't know until Thursday that it was not a liver shunt. The whole week she was having these spells and now we know it was her blood sugar dropping. So I had to take Diesel in because he had bites all over his belly, the vet said bring Dog too and we will send out another test, glucose test. So we did, that was last Friday we got the results Wednesday that they are pretty sure she has what is called an insulinoma, a tumor on her pancreas. This tumor secretes insulin all the time so it is taking all the sugar out of her body, if we don't keep her feed every 4-5 hours it makes her blood sugar plummet causing all these symptoms and seizures. So that brings me to tomorrow, the vet said it's is treatable with surgery or diet and prednizone, which is a steroid that will stimulate her body to produce more sugar. I'm taking her to Michigan State University(MSU) tomorrow to have a consultation. MSU is the best Vet school in Michigan. They will reveiw her case and give us advise about what's best for her and her quality of life. There is a lot of different things that factor in to this. These tumors can spread to the lungs, when removed they sometimes come back, and after surgery most only live 1-2 years. This has been very stressful for Brad and I, we love her like a child. It is very costly, if she has everything done they would do for surgery, x-ray, ultrasound, and cat scan it can cost up to $4,500.00. The money is not an immediate issue for us we will figure that out if we have to. My main concern is her life and what is best for her. We are having to force feed her right now because she is so sick of eating all the time, and we have to keep changing what we give her because she gets sick of it fast. The thought of losing her brings tears to my eye's, I had to have my horse put down when I was 17 and my mom had to have our 15 year old Cocker Spaniel put down too around the same time. I know what that loss is and it is heartbreaking for me. I'm praying I can make the right decision and be ok with whatever that is.

I will update after tomorrow when I know more.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Dog Part 2

"Look Ma, I broke him down, he loves me!"

She was getting Big, fast!

If you haven't read Part 1 you should do so with this link Dog my first child part 1

So Dog was a healthy good puppy. She had a few BAD DOG moments, but honestly she was really good, the one thing she did like to do was get into my mom's plants rip them up or tip them over, and my mom is a plant enthusiast so she has lots of plants! But she was getting big! She kept growing and growing and eating though my wallet in dog food. I knew when I got her she would be big since her mom was a large St. Bernard, but I really had no idea she would get as big as she did. I got her in January and was like I said before having huge transitions in my life. She was a huge part of my getting through some tough times. I meet Brad in March and Dog was 4 months old still a puppy, but a very large and playful puppy. Lets just say she was very fond of Brad but the feeling was not mutual! Brad liked to wear hooded sweatshirts with the ties in them and Dog loved to attack and chew on his ties, so she was always on him and in his face. I could tell he really didn't like her, but he liked me so he pretended it was fine and that he liked her. He learned to love her over time. By the time she was a year old I had gotten married, moved to a new house and was gonna have a baby in a few months. I was really worried about bringing Colton home to this huge dog, I knew she would never hurt him intentionally but might on accident. She loved to greet you at the door in your face with kisses by jumping on you. We loved this but it would not be ok with a baby in tow. We broke her of this habit by greeting her at her level more calmly and giving her love before trying to run in and ignore her. After Colton was born she calmed down a lot! This is when she started getting less attention. But she stilled loved to chase cats, play with the neighbor dogs and chase people riding horses. She was a great Dog only leaving the yard to go to the neighbor guys house, for good reason, he would make her homemade meals! One night she got left out while I was gone and a rain storm started before I got home. I got home and searched frantically for her, she was no where to be found went to bed worried sick only to find the next morning he had let her stay with him when it started raining and she stayed the night on his couch. Some of her other cooky habits that drove us nuts and made us laugh, she liked to bite at your hands if you had gloves on, and chase and bite at your feet with boots or shoes on! It was weird, annoying and hilarious at the same time. When Dog was almost 2 we decided to get another dog, we thought it would be good for her and she would be able to teach the puppy the good habits she had. So we got a yellow lab mix and we named him Casper. They were good together, but he was much harder to train and that was Brad's job this time because I was taking care of Colton who was 7 months old. Well over the course of a year we had moved again, Casper ended up being tied on a chain all the time because he was a runner and I couldn't keep my eye on him and an infant. So Dog was back to the only Dog in the house. Colton loved her and until recently she was not a fan of his. Over the years she has been a great dog probably been ignored more then she should have, and has spent a majority of her time sleeping on my bed. She developed a skin problem and gained a lot of weight, we found out she has a thyroid condition this caused her skin problems and her weight to get up to it's highest of 175! She has been on meds for this a couple years and has lost a lot of weight down to 130 and her skin is shinny and smooth again. I have such a bond with her that she senses when I'm sad and will seek me out to try and make me feel better. She knows when I am getting sick, I can almost tell when I need Iv's by how she treats me, she won't leave my side and follows me everywhere. The first time I had to go in the hospital that Colton was old enough to realize I was going to be gone, I was very upset while I was packing started crying and having an anxiety attack, I laid down on the bed to try and calm myself, she came up on the bed and laid over top of me and would not move until I was calm, and you can not move her if she don't want to be moved! She is special and I love her very much.

Part 3 coming soon

Dog my first child Part 1

Hiding in the the couch cushion

Ripping on Grandma's Hair

Can barely see her hiding behind Dad's Head

Dog is my 7 year old Black Lab Saint Bernard mix. Dog is her name and she is also my baby. This is Dog's story. My brother had a full blooded St. Bernard, Annabell was her name and she got pregnant by the neighbors Black Lab. November 14th 2002 she gave birth to a litter of puppy's (I don't recall the exact number). I love animals, always have, had them my whole life. Dog's, Cat's, Hamster's, Rabbit's, Goat's, Horse's, not all at the same time, well some at the same time. Anyways you get the picture always had pets. When Annabell had her puppy's I did not have a pet and had not had one for a while. I had just moved back home after moving out of my boyfriends house and we had pretty much broke up. So I would go play with these puppy's and feel in love with them, they were all black with white patches on their chest and some had white on their feet. Every time we would go see them there was the runt she would slink to the back of the Dog house and bark and growl at you being tough, while staying as far away as possible. That was Dog. When we were growing up when we would get animals my Dad always made us choice the runt, he thinks they are the best in the bunch. So I took her home when she was 8 weeks old. He said I couldn't keep her, well yeah right I batted my eyes, made him play with her and voila I get to keep her, but there was a stipulation...I had to name her Dog! I had already named her Riley but he called her Dog so much that is what stuck thus her name is Dog. She was the best puppy ever, I had her potty trained in 2 weeks to get me up and go outside, she is so smart and had I took the time to train her could do amazing things, but I just wanted a companion. I had just broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years and she made me feel better. My Dad loved her too and to this day when my dad comes over Dog gets really excited, more so then other people. He took care of her when I worked. I took her to all her vet appointments and got her fixed when she was old enough. This is how I got Dog and the beginning of our story. I will post more soon.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Speech I wrote for Great Strides event

This is something I wrote to share with people at a great strides walk a couple years ago and thought I would share it on here. I was unable to make it to the walk because I was in the hospital but a friend relayed the message for me.

My name is Jamie I am a wife, a mom, and a daily fighter of Cystic Fibrosis, (CF). My parents got the diagnosis of CF when I was 2 weeks old, they were told I probably wouldn't live to be a teenager. I will be celebrating my 26th birthday next month This is in part to major funding and research from events like this and Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, that's why this event and the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation is so important to me. The funding from this event and others like this are what has enabled me to beat this disease as long as I have.

Growing up with CF was not easy as a child. I always had medicine and therapy's to take and do, this always made it hard to make friends, keep friends, and have regular playtime with friends. This was also hard because I was living for everyday and didn't think I would graduate high school, told I would be lucky to make it to 16. As new research came and new treatments were available that median age was raised to 20, when you get to high school it's all about planning to make your future. By the time I made it to high school the idea of making plans for my future was hard, I didn't want to waste the years I had in school. So I didn't I chose to date, work, and eventually marry and have my son. Also being told you only have so many years to live can do a number on your physiological health. But it can also be a gift, I was given the opportunity to live life to the fullest and experience things in life in the time that I thought I had. And yet with more drugs and therapy's came more years to live. When I got married when I was 21 the median age was 32, two years later it changed to what it is now which is 37.

With these added years comes added life, but also added challenges. All the new medications and treatments mean more time and energy into my health, which is time and energy taken away from the things I love such as family, hobby's, and even the ability to have a job or career. To give you an idea of what these treatments and medications entail I'd like to give you a run down of the things I do during the day. I take no fewer then 11 separate medications a day to manage my CF. I wish this meant that I only had to take 11 pills a day, but thats not the case I take approximately 50 medication each day. These medications include several different pills as well as inhalers. My treatments also include several different lung clearance exercises. These are designed to loosen up mucus so that I can cough it out easily. One of those is a chest vest that I put on twice a day, it shacks me to loosen the mucus, each session takes about 30-40 minutes. The other lung clearance that I do is cardio and weight training about a hour a day. I also have do nasal washes twice a day to clear mucus from my nasal passages. These treatments and air way clearance exercises take up a great deal of my day. I do all this daily in the hopes that it will keep me infection free for months,and if I'm lucky up to a year and sometimes longer. As much as I keep up with these treatments daily it does not guarantee that I won't get an infection and be put in the hospital for what is called a clean out in the CF world. I have been hospitalized more then several times in my almost 26 years, my friend is relaying my message today because I am currently in the hospital, my third time in the past 12 months. These hospital stays require me to stay in patient for 1-2 weeks, and under go vigorous lung clearance and IV antibiotics. All of these things are what I do to maintain my health, I also have daily duties as a mother and wife that can sometimes add stress to my routine. The older I get the harder it is.

I'm telling you all of this because this is the reality of this disease that I fight on a monthly, weekly,and daily basis. I would give anything a side from family if it meant I didn't have to fight this anymore. That's why I need your help to raise not only money but awareness. The Cystic Fibrosis Foundation uses the phrase "adding tomorrows everyday" as their tag line. I am deeply appreciative of all the work that they do and for the ways that fund- raising efforts are enabling researchers to make "Great Strides" toward finding a cure for CF. The foundation has lived up to their motto and has done much to add many tomorrows for those of us with CF. But they can't do it alone they need everybody they can find to get involved, and to get their friends and family involved. We need all the people we can get to beat this disease. As I stated before I will celebrate my 26th birthday next month. The odds that I will get to celebrate my 37th birthday are 1 in 2. I thank all of you for getting involved to raise money for CF, it is greatly appreciated. I don't want to die waiting for a cure when so many others have already lost their life waiting.

Monday, July 26, 2010

A heartbreaking, heartwarming CF moment

This past weekend we went on a mini vacation to Silver Lake Sand Dunes, I have been going there since I was a child and it is my favorite place to go, I love it! I kinda get bitchy when I have to pack to go away because of all the extra's I have to take for CF, three extra bags! I get over it rather quickly because that's just the kind a person I am, I will complain about it for a bit and then move on because I know the complaining is not going to change it and I am truly thankful I am still well enough to travel. So we pack up take off, drive the 2 hours to get there, check in to the hotel (we normally camp but Colton had never stayed in a hotel and this was on his list of things he wanted to do this summer!) Unload everything and chill for a little bit. Our best friends Ben and Chasta went with us which I love because having friends with me makes me generally more happy. So we check out the local restaurants, I'm very familiar with the area but because we always camp I had never ate anywhere around there. We went to a little bar and ate supper, it was a really cool place and the food was pretty good too. Went back to the hotel and went swimming and got in the hot tub for a little bit before it closed. Finally got in the room for the night and was pretty exhausted, still had to do my therapy and Colton was wound like a ten day clock! So I proceeded to get ready for bed and do my therapy. Well I always make myself cough before I start because if I don't I will have a huge cough and have to stop my machines anyways. Well I had everything or so I thought I did, get my huge cough going and I'm bringing up a lot of crap so Colton says " Mommy I'll get you the tissues you forgot because I know you always need those and you forgot" he brings them to me and the trash can this was heartbreaking and heartwarming to me at the same time, I was smiling and had tears in my eyes. If you know Colton you know that he is the sweetest most sensitive boy ever, and would do just about anything for anybody at the age of 6! I got so emotional because the heartbreak that he has to live with and help me with fighting this disease is heartbreaking to me, this should not be part of a his life. But the way he is so sweet and kind and laying there in front of me smiling saying "I always know what Mom needs when she does her therapy" as if it is nothing, because to him it is in fact normal also made me smile because he is always thinking of his mommy, and makes me think I may be raising the most giving child there is and that warms my heart. A lot of people ask me what he knows of CF and it's affects. He knows it makes me sick and it's why I have to do my therapy's and take all my meds, I don't think he grasp what the disease actually does to my body but he knows that CF can kill people. He is my greatest motivator ever I have to fight to live so I can be with this amazing child that God has given me. So over all we had a great trip, did a lot of fun things had some great laughs with friends and did one of Colton's things on his list for summer.

Friday, May 21, 2010

CF Great Strides Walk

It's been awhile since I blogged I have been busy! I was in the hospital, got out did home Iv's for a week and then finale preparations for the walk. I coordinate and have a Great Strides walk in my hometown, with little help from the foundation so it's a lot of work for me. But it was last Sunday it and was a huge success! We raised $10,000.00!! That is a lot for the area I live in! There is a 12 year old girl, Aleeya who lives in the neighboring town to me and she has CF too so this is our walk in honor of us. She did an amazing job fund-raising bringing in 1,550.00 more then tripling her goal! We did a 50/50, silent auction, Aleeya fund-raised up until the end selling candy bars at the walk, we sold shirts for $10.00 and $6.00 goes back to the foundation, we still have some left if anyone is interested in them (the picture does not do the color justice they are a very pretty blue). So over all a huge success and a great feeling to have my hard work pay off :) Thanks to all of those who participated and donated it is greatly appreciated!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

PICC"s and Ports

So this is kinda in response to Ronnie's post today at about getting his PICC placed yesterday and I'm looking forward to his post tomorrow about why he doesn't want a port placed and this is my PICC and port story.

For the laiman that read my blog PICC's are central lines that are placed in a vein in the arm and runs a line up almost all the way to the heart and can last for a long period of time but are not permanent. And a port is a permanent line that is placed in the arm or the chest that will last for years.

The port conversation has been coming up with this stay for me, because they had a hard time placing my PICC in my right arm, they had to balloon my vein to get it in and said my right arm is not accessible after this and my left arm is not available anymore either, so the dreaded port thoughts are here. I had a port when I was younger and the story goes.. I had it placed when I was 16 the year 2000, I was very against it at the time but at that time PICC line placement was not as "easy" as it is now, so it was my only option, so in honor of vanity I had it put in my upper left arm where it was not very visible. After getting use to it and seeing how easy it was for Iv's I loved it and took very good care of it. Fast forward to 2007... I went in for a clean out and my port was not working properly, it wasn't flushing well and it burned in my arm which was not normal. They stopped using it, I did not know what was wrong with it until the doctor came in and started asking all these strange questions, like had I ever had a heart cath, and any heart operations. I was like why are you asking all these weird questions, and then they showed me the x-ray, a 7 inch piece of my port had broke off at my shoulder and went into my heart, lodged in the pulmonary artery to be exact. They did not know how long it had been there since I had not had an x-ray since 2005 (bad keep up that was my fault) they did not know if it would move anymore, or if it had blood clots around it that would move and cause problems, or cause problems when they tried to remove it. It was SCARY I was afraid I would go to sleep and it would move or a blood clot would move and I would not wake up. So that was the next step how would they remove it and at what hospital because Sparrow in Lansing MI where I was had never seen anything like it. So my doctors called and made arraignments to go to University of Michigan in Ann Arbor MI and a heart doctor did a heart catheter with a special made tool with grabbers on it and went in and pulled it out, I was awake the whole time a little loopy with relaxants but still cognitive enough and watched on a monitor which for me was really cool for me because I like to see whats going on when they do stuff to me. But it came out ok and I recovered, and they took the other half out at Sparrow. So now I'm at a point where my next clean out may require a Port again, and I have mixed feelings about it. I know how great it was and I liked the easy access and not having to wait a day or two to get a PICC placed, but then I think about what happened and it scares me to get one again. Ultimately I will do what I have to for the better of my health and my guess is that will be a Port again some day, but I will cross that bridge when I get there.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Hospital Stay and words of Wisdom

So I'm in the hospital, my life with CF has included these hospital stays about once a year for the majority of my life. There would be times when I would go longer then a year and at one point I went over 2 years before I had to go in. They are what the Cf world calls clean outs, we may not be real sick or look sick or even sometimes feel sick, but our Pulmonary Function Tests (PFT's) the test that measure's our lung function may be down from what we call our baseline which is how well we do when healthy or our most resent highest numbers. Most recently for me this is when I get a cold or some other run of the mill sickness and it ends up going into my lungs and I feel like crap. I usually call the office or go in to my regular doctor's and get a prescription for an anti-biotic to try to get rid of it with that and more chest therapy at home sometimes it works, sometimes it don't and that's how I ended up "In the Hole" as we like to call it. Colton ended up with pneumonia and about 2 weeks later I ended up with it. Pneumonia is not usually contagious but with my compromised immune system it managed to spread to me. So all my life I have had these clean outs, and as a kid they really sucked, they suck as an adult too, but it's much worse as a child being jabbed with neddles, Iv after Iv staying in bed all the time and not always understanding why. But as I got older even if I didn't like it I began to understand why and although it still sucked I was better at doing it, that is if you get better at going in the hospital. But the thing is I got better or it got easier because of my parents. They are amazing people and I could not have done it or do it without them. I was raised as if I was "normal" like I was the same as my brother (who does not have CF), not aloud to use CF as an excuse to not do things or go after my dreams, not aloud to feel sorry for myself, that I would live a long life even when they were told I would not see High School, and to be and always do the best I could, because even though I had CF my life was still a blessing. But the lesson that stuck with me the most was that no matter how bad your life is or have it there is always someone who's life is worse or has it worse. That has stuck with me through my whole life the one lesson that I carry with me all the time, so that when and if I feel sorry for myself I can think about that and it makes me think twice and stop feeling sorry for myself. So as I have this stay in the hospital and it sucks and I miss my husband and my son, and he cry's because he misses me and I get sad and wish I was home, I go back to that thought, because somewhere in this hospital and probably more then one place in this hospital, someone is saying goodbye to a loved one or a mother never gets to go home to her baby, or a mother never gets to take her baby home because as bad as I have had it that would be worse and I feel bad for those people when I think about it, and that is why no matter how much it sucks or how bad I have it I am thankful for what I have, even if I have CF, because it could always be worse.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Colton's Journey

Six years ago I was pot bellied, 35 pounds heavier, and ready to be a mommy. Of course I'm talking about being pregnant for Colton. His birthday is on Sunday and my baby will be turning 6 years old :( I give a sad face because the fact is he is not a baby and is growing up to be a boy. His journey was a long one and a fast one all at the same time. As I posted in my blog about my husband and I's story we had a whirl wind love and fast pregnancy. I thought I could not have kids because of my CF and the fact that I had been with someone for years before my husband and never got pregnant with no protection. So right from the beginning he was a miracle to me, little did I know at the time what a miracle he would be. My pregnancy was great as far as CF pregnancy's go, I only needed IV's once which was normal for me anyways. We did not know if my husband was a carrier of the CF gene and we choose to wait to test on him and the baby (we didn't find out what we were having) until he was born, I just felt it didn't matter I didn't need to stress more then I already was. My due date was April 15th, I had gone into labor twice two weeks before I had Colton and thankfully it stopped because it was too early, his lungs were not developed yet. When I went into labor for the last time on March 27th it was safe to deliver he was just over two weeks early, one week from being considered full term. I went into the hospital at about 5:30pm Saturday March 27th, and gave birth to Colton Thomas Purchase on Sunday March 28th at 11:58am. I did very well through the whole birthing process and although exhausted was fine after ward's, but Colton was not. Right after I delivered him they handed him to me and I held him for less than a minute before they took him to the baby bed and started trying to get him to breath better, he was breathing but barely. They took him out and Brad followed them not knowing what was going on. I did not hear or see of Brad until 2 hours later and had no idea what was going on. My first thought was CF, I was scared to death and balled my eye's out, my parents stayed with me until Brad came back. Brad came back and told us they had got him stabilized and on a ventilator but they were unsure of what exactly was wrong with him or if he would come through it. I balled for hours and was finally able to go see him in the NICU about 4 hours after having him. He was on the ventilator, IV's, and many other things in an incubator. After many tests and trying to get gas tubes that tested his oxygen in his belly button, the diagnosis was pneumonia and jondus. He was on the vent for the first 2 days, then they put him on c-pap which is another form of breathing assistance, a feeding tube and IV antibiotics. They had told us at the beginning that he would be there probably a week and then go home on IV's. Thankfully by god's grace he recovered faster then they thought he would and came home 6 days later on April 3rd with no antibiotics and he was eating on his own little by little. Those were the scariest 6 days of my life, and the next 2 months were torture as well. They took cord blood and tested it for CF which took 2 months to get results, I was looking for every single symptom of CF, he never had any. And I got a phone call after his 2 month check up sitting in Wendy's with Brad that the test results were back and after review it showed he was only a carrier from me. Relief is not the word to describe the feeling but it was beyond words how I felt. At this time we still did not know if Brad was a carrier because he still could have been and Colton would have had a 50% chance of getting CF. We waited and didn't have Brad tested until Colton was about 15 months old when we started talking about having another baby. We had Brad tested and sure enough he is a carrier, and that is why we decided not to have anymore children. And that is also why Colton is my miracle in more then one way, he beat the odds not once, not twice, but three times.

Thursday, February 25, 2010


Tattoo's have been on my mind lately, mostly because people have asked about them on Cystic Life and a couple people I know have gotten some recently. I have two of them I talk about them on one of my other blogs, I have a frog on my shoulder and the words Just Breathe between angel wings on my side. It took me a very long time to choose what and where I was gonna put a tattoo, I knew from the time I was a teenager that I wanted one but I was not going to get one until I was 100% sure I was ok with it. I think the decision to get a tattoo should never be taken lightly and should be thoroughly thought out, both of mine were and I have never regretted either one for one second. I believe tattoo's show someone's personality and sometimes their beliefs and loves of things and are a great outlet for who you are. Mine both have meaning to me and show some what of who I am. My frog to some may seem like a generic tattoo but it is not to me it takes me back to the days of my childhood when I use to catch frogs in my grandma's pond play with them and throw them back, I love frogs, I still enjoy catching them with Colton. My wings and the words Just Breathe have very special meaning to me, Just Breathe is not just a saying like if your in a stressful moment to just breathe, it is something that takes a great deal of work and energy for me to do everyday just to live. The wings to me symbolize that someday I will be an angel and will Breathe Easy! I love my tattoo's and am working on the placement of my next one, the picture on the side of my blog "Let me Fly" with the bird will probably be my next one and they are somewhat addicting. For me they have to be some place I can cover, that's just my personal choice, I love to see other peoples tattoo's and I do show mine if asked, I just want to be able to cover it if I want. I've seen a few before but I would love to see what other people with CF have tattooed on them.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

My pretty new layout

I wanted to make my blog pretty like some of the other ones I see. So I did, it took a little time to figure out, I'm not that savvy when it comes to this stuff. I think I like it I get bored easily though so I'll probably change it before long. Not much going on in my exciting life right now, we went and got family pictures done Thursday night that was fun can't wait to get the prints back, and Colton's individual pictures too, I have seen the proofs online and they look great! I'm excited about this weekend, we are going to Snow Snake it's a place where you can snowboard, ski and tube, us and are friends Ben and Chasta are going to go Sunday should be fun! I love the winter, I know a lot of people hate it, but I grew up snowmobiling and sledding it is just so much fun, and now I get to do those things with Colton, he has his own snowmobile. Me and my brother use to go out and sled for hours, winter holds some of my greatest memories! That's why I love Michigan I get a mix of all the different season's. Done rambling :)

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Spouse's of CFer's

My husband Brad is amazing! I never thought I would meet a man that would treat me as wonderful as he does, I got lucky! Growing up I never had boyfriends until High school and I always believed it was directly related to having CF. When I got in high school and had a few boyfriends it was still there that feeling that no boy/man could love someone as sick as me. I then meet a boy who did love me for who I was and did not see my disease as me other then it was just a part of me, we dated for a long time and he was great about my CF and being there when I needed him for that, for other reasons we didn't work out. And not more then 2 weeks later I meet Brad, we meet through a mutual friend. I know the first night I talked to him, which was for 4 hours, that if he could love me for me and get past CF I would marry him. I'm always very up front about CF when I meet people, it was funny when I told him about it the first thing he said was "it it contagious" I laughed so hard when he said that. But we went on dates and started hanging out A LOT, like 24/7 we couldn't get enough of each other, I was in love and so was he. We both knew we wanted to get married and had actually talked about the next October we both love fall and wanted a fall wedding, this was in June. I found out I was pregnant in August! We were both a little in shock, but once it set in I decided I wanted to get married before we had our baby, so we did on November 8th 2003. We found a house and moved in together, we never actually lived together before we got married. And on March 28th, 2004 I gave birth to Colton Thomas Purchase (his story will be another blog). We had everything we wanted and it was great but it was hard! It was a huge transition being married and living together and learning how to be a married couple and then throw a baby on that and it was hard. We had our problems but we worked through them. When we got married we said divorce is not an option for us, we both come from parents who are still married, his for 37 years and mine for 21 years. I think it is the fact that we both said it out loud and agreed to it it makes us work harder on us as a couple. These days we are doing great we have found a balance in our life that works for us and I couldn't be happier, he is the love of my life, and my soul mate! When I started this blog it was not my intention to tell my story but to give the appreciation that is due to the spouse's of people with CF, I believe it takes a special person to love us because we are special ourselves. Brad says he doesn't think about CF, he just see's me. But I think CF is a part of me and in someways has made me the person I am. I am me and that includes CF. So much love and appreciation to spouse's of CFer's you deserve it! And to all you CFer's who think you don't deserve to be loved because you might be cheating someone out of a life long partner, you deserve to be loved and there is someone out there for you I am a strong believer in LOVE!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

The inspiration behind my blog name

I wanted to write about the inspiration behind my blog name, I thought it was neat. Well I posted a picture of it as you can probably see, but this is where it came from. It's a t-shirt I got for Christmas from my brother and sister in law. I have kinda a unique style, well maybe not unique but I wear anything from t-shirts to dresses and everything in between. I like to dress up and I like to dress down, I like t-shirts with print on them, like wings and stuff. I have a tattoo of wings with the words Just Breathe in between them, I also have a frog on my shoulder which really has no meaning other then the fact that I love frogs, and not just pictures of them or figurines I really like real frogs I use to catch them when I was little in my grandma's pond and I still like to catch them with Colton. Anyways I got off topic, this t-shirt expresses me as a person, my sister in law is a good shopper for me! Let Me fly, Just Breathe, Angel in waiting these are the sayings that express me as a person and a glimpse of my personalty. I am even toying with the idea of another tattoo of this small part of the shirt.

Friday, February 5, 2010

I've started a blog

This is my first blog on this site! A friend told me I needed one, thanks Jesse! I could tell you about myself but you can read that in the about me section. I'm not sure how often I will be blogging, depends on life and when I have time or want to. A few things to start with, I can't spell, so don't be surprised if my grammar is horrible. I have Cystic Fibrosis (CF) which is a genetic disease, if you want the skinny google it, I don't mind talking about it, it's just easier to send you somewhere to get proper info. My blogs will probably be about CF, motherhood, and life in general. I've always been a writer, I've kept a journal from a very young age so I guess this is just another outlet for that. Look forward to posting soon.