Monday, January 28, 2013
Inspirational, who me?!
1 a [noncount] : something that makes someone want to do something or that gives someone an idea about what to do or create : a force or influence that inspires someone.
I find this very flattering and a true compliment. I also find it hard to understand why they would say that I am. I once asked a friend that had told me that, why she thought that, her response made sense and helped me understand why someone might feel that way.
Me: I'm not sure how I have been an inspiration to you though, but thanks!
Her: Really?!? There are so many things that could be limiting you, Jamie. But you refuse to be limited. You are a fighter. I've read some of your blogs and they leave me in tears. You have a daily battle in your life. Sometimes I allow things in life to get me down, and then I'll think of what other people have to deal with and realize it could be worse. Statistic wise, I don't think you were supposed to have a baby, but look at you now! You have a precious little boy! How can that not be inspirational?
Another friend tells me sometimes "At night when I go home and I'm too tired to even want to brush my teeth, I think about you and how you have to do an hour of treatments before even thinking about brushing your teeth and going to bed!"
So I thought about it and realized, that yes I do have things that could limit and do limit me. I am a stay at home Mom and wife (to an amazingly supportive husband), I have every single responsibilities that a "normal", "healthy" mom and wife has. I also have CF which requires my constant care as well, with hours of treatments, and tons of pills, and yes I have to do hours worth of treatments before thinking about brushing my teeth and going to bed (I don't floss regularly...okay never really, and I go to the dentist and the hygienist is all like you really need to floss, and I'm thinking lady ain't nobody got time for that!). The thing is to me I'm just a "normal" woman, mom and wife. I have been doing CF my whole life, I don't know what it's like to not have CF, not do treatments, and not take pills. This is my normal. So when someone tells me I'm an inspiration, I think, really? I'm just living my life like a regular person. This I think comes from my parents teaching me growing up that no matter how bad you have it there is always someone worse off, fighting a harder battle. That's how I live my life, always have. Another thing I was told and taught was, yeah you may have been dealt a bad hand, but that don't mean you can't play the game, you play the hand your dealt. I'm thankful for the life I have CF included. Does CF get me down sometimes, yes, it's hard sometimes, but there's so much more to my life than CF. If CF ran my life and mind all the time I would drown in it. One of my favorite quotes is "Love your life, love the life you live" I love life and I love living my life! Life is so precious and taking any bit of it that I have for granted would be ignorant.
My blogs, facebook posts, and videos are never intended to make people cry or feel sorry for me. I write and make videos to educate others about CF and what it is, and is like living with it. If in my efforts to raise money and awareness for CF, it has brought some to appreciate life a little more and be thankful for what they have or don't have, than yes I guess I can accept that I might be an inspiration.