Wednesday, April 6, 2011

CF Defeats me........not quite!

I seem to only blog when stuff happens with my health. I don't know why this is other than when I'm in the hospital I have time on my hands. I use to keep a journal on a pretty regular basis, not so much anymore. So my blog is kinda like my journal now. And just like my journal I tend to write more about my health.

I went in to clinic last Wednesday, had PFT's and seen the doctor, my PFT's were 13% decreased from the beginning of February, from 47% to 34%. So the doctor says I need to go in the hospital. I told him I would like to wait until after the weekend, because my best friend Chasta's baby shower was on Sunday. So he agreed and put me on an oral anti-biotic, until I could get in Monday.

Sunday despite nasty Michigan weather, Chasta's shower was a success. Chasta had been "leaking" what she thought was tinkling of pee. But because she wasn't sure it was pee and could have been amniotic fluid, we told her she should get it checked just in case. So she had an appointment at 1 and I was waiting to hear if I had a hospital bed and if my best friend was going to have her baby, 4 weeks early.

Chasta called and said that her water had broke and she was going to have her baby girl. I was frantic and desperate to find a way to stay home one more day, just one more day was all I wanted. I talked to the nurse at my clinic and she said that, the oral med I was on from Wednesday until then my bugs were not even sensitive to and it was important that I get in and get the IV's my body needed before more damage was done. I was devastated to say the least.

Let me clarify the meaning of mine and Chasta's friendship. It's more then that, we are more like sisters. We spend probably at least 2 days a week together, we shop, we bowl on a league together, we see movies, go to dinner, and our husbands are best friends/brothers too. She supports me in so many ways! We complain about our husbands to each other. When I found out I had to come in on Wednesday I wanted to cry, and she found the right thing to say to make me feel better, I would say I'm the emotional one and she's the logical one, I'm the assertive one and she's passive. We complement each other in so many ways.

So have been anxiously waiting for her and Ben to have kids, and when she got pregnant I couldn't have been more excited! When she found out she was having a girl I was so happy for her but jealous too because I always wanted a daughter, but my joy definitely out weighed my jealousy. We have been shopping and preparing for her shower together, eagerly waiting for her arrival. Never guessing this would happen.

I cried the whole day almost. Awaited updates as I was settling in my own hospital room. I was inconsolable, I was worried about Chasta because being the planner and control freak she is, I knew she was completely freaking out and worried about having her early. I got a text at around 5:30 Tuesday morning, Izabella June Langworthy had arrived at 4:14, 6lbs 2oz, and 19 1/2 inches long. She was completely healthy and Chasta was doing great as well. I was so happy for her and Ben. And then I cried the rest of the morning because I was not going to be able to see her or hold her for at least 2 weeks. But we have skype and so I got to see her via skype around 6:30 that morning. She's absolutely perfect as you can see in the picture!

I am most generally a very happy positive person and don't let much get me down. But this has been really hard for me. I despise CF at times like this. Not that I particular like it at anytime, but most the time I can deal with what it throws my way. This time I feel like it defeated me.....for a few days anyways. I will fight like always, and getting better and healthy to get home to see Colton and my Izzy girl will be my drive.

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